sample writing feedback comments elementary dissertation

Providing feedback to stimulate critical reflection requires drawing attention to the nuances of the writing such as definitions and consistency of terms throughout the broader dissertation. Use facts, examples and statistics to substantiate both your positive and negative comments. Lecture style was slow; keep some enthusiasm More intuition with less math. Please try not to block the projector from being read The following recommendations about writing comments were developed for students in writing and literature classes; however, with a little adjustment, they can be applied to any writing assignment. You can expect similarly global-oriented comments and suggestions for developing your own work. Be a little more specific about your planned studies. A sampling of comments from Paper Presentation Critiques Econ 730, Fall 2005. Maybe you can point to some of the significant central empirical values rather than talking generally about a table of numbers. Feedback, proofreading, and revising are as important in writing a dissertation as doing research or the actual writing of the dissertation. In the intro, you didn't mention about the objective or contribution of the paper. It is very distracting when you click your pen throughout the pres. why? Lots of intuitive explanation of the topic The speaker should explain the graph and equation in a more intuitive way. The research problem is clear; objectives clearly stated Enthusiasm and knowledge of topic: very interesting ideas for future research 1 Sample’Comments’for’aSummativeEvaluation’ ’ MASTER’OF’TEACHING’PROGRAM’ OISE,’UNIVERSITY’OF’TORONTO’! The graphs are nice but should spend more time explaining them Speak just a little louder Spend more time on the core concept/definitions Too many results on one slide

2 .

State results (in words) rather than math and empirical significance only. Don't expect people to have a copy of the paper in their hands. You should also state why this paper is important, not just its objective; There was no formal placement of this paper in the lit. More specifically, it was the feedback on my first paper. Providing Feedback on Student Writing Funded by U.S. Department of Education AANAPISI Grant. 1. What do the results imply, mean? Visuals a bit too busy, sentences too long. Given the time limitation, it is difficult to describe all equations. What will you test? Didn't read from screen--good job Managed to keep a theoretical paper precise I think we shouldn't show he equations if we will not talk/explain them I liked the summary at the beginning that mapped the presentation . I can't see the table! Kept saying paper was good instead of looking for potentials extensions Relate to your own interest/direction of research. Research problem: why is it important? College students are assigned a lot of writing. A bit negative Research has found that while novices prefer positive feedback (in order to boost their confidence), once people become experts in a subject area, they prefer negative feedback ( in order to step up their game). Mention the reason why chose this paper; There was hardly any discussion of why this paper was selected until the end of the presentation. The speaker covers too much literature and loses focus on the main area of focus.

Speak as if you're the authority on [topic]. Arrange the whole presentation tighter and introduce the topic clearer at the beginning. It would help listeners to understand what they expect to see. Too many equations but not every equation was explained Very well organized; easy to understand Engage the audience more by talking to audience, not to PPT slides. Good handling of time The part on Further Study is good to clarify important assumptions and factors not considered in the model Feedback can seem discouraging, yet when the dissertation is finished, the feedback will make a vital difference in the quality of dissertation.

Good summary of where this fits into the literature Spring 2013 By Sara Cook. You have general areas of further study but what specifically would you do? I like that you only put things on the slides that were integral to the paper and that you thoroughly explained everything printed on them. Should explain which factors affect positively or negatively on ... and its intuitiondefine notation and explain intuition behind each equation OWL Sample Feedback writing assistance The following are actual responses to some of our recent submissions to the Online Writing Lab, although the names have been changed to maintain the anonymity of student writers. How? I liked how you kept relating to your own research plans Too much math

A sampling of comments from Paper Presentation Critiques Needed to better manage time--spend less time on relatively less important aspects (e.g. Responding to Student Writing Comments and grades on student writing arguably constitute the most serious, sustained teaching intervention you can make in a student’s writing career. Concentrate on just a few important points in such a short presentation; Be more selective in explaining elements of the paper Problem statement: The research problem is clear; objectives clearly stated Research problem: why is it important? lit review) Good critique of the author's conclusions The presenter should first start by stating the problem (objective) of the paper, not just start from the beginning to the end of the paper. In this type of feedback you are not so much indicating a problem but stimulating the research student to deeper consideration of what they have written in the hope of developing a more rigorous discussion. There are some equations in your slides that you neglect to explain.

Clear, but sometimes fell into trap of reading from slides. The combination of what I thought an abysmally low grade and margins drenched in the red of electronic comments felt as though academic open season had been declared on me personally. Maybe should give more background for someone not familiar with the area.

Clear presentation of the literature

It is also desirable if you can mention what contributions you can make

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